Thursday, 16 December 2010

Above pictures:
Top left to right.The candles for the tree all lined up ready to be hung on the tree. Out picking a Christmas tree. All the christmas tree decorations waiting to be hung - on the 23th of December.
Bottom left to right: Bringing the Christmas tree home. Assorted home made chocolates all ready to be eaten:). One year my father and brother stood for the whole bringing home a Christmas tree, and they brought one home there was taller than out house!

In my family it is not so much about giving large gifts, it's more about being together, cozyness, decorating the tree, lighting the candles on the tree, eating good food, preparing chocolates for the day, and such things.

I just love christmas.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

not at perfect match

This year for Christmas I am making 5 gifts...
But I can't really show them to you yet!

Today though, I decided that these wrist warmers (the redish ones), were not good enough.
They are the first pair I made some 2 years or so ago.
Without saying too much, I thought I could make them so much more interesting by changing shape and adding an extra colour.

But, now I have been knitting a bit, and the red colour I added, is just, too red.
Together with the redish yarn it looks more orange, and that is not really what I am going for.
(thought the colours in the picture are not perfect, you get the idea)

Monday, 13 December 2010

What I have been doing lately,
is tidying up in all of my stuff - because I got a LOT of stuff!
Pretty much emptying every thing I got on my floor, bed, table...
And of course the Kitty has sort of being assisting me ( if you ask him anyway;) )

Thursday, 9 December 2010


This is to all of you whom I love

I think it is only fair, for me to tell you about what is really going on with me.
This, you should know, I could never tell you face to face, or basically in any other way than this.

I am going through a really though time at the moment, have been, for way too long.

Each day is a fight to me.
Some days I cannot even get out of bed - this is not because of laziness, but because I am sick.
My biggest problem is a habit of constantly hating myself, and not acknowledging the things I do accomplice. Almost all of the time I feel misunderstood, and hated by all around me, which again makes it harder for myself to like who I am.
You must understand that I look differently at the world than you most likely do.
Because I have not been well for a long time, I have found that many of my ideas about life apparently is completely wrong.
So it is not just a question about time healing my wounds, but me actively working with my problems.
Which has shown to be the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.
Constantly working with your inner feelings, emotions and ideas is not just difficult, but very hard. What ever energy I got, is drained completely.

I hope this will somehow have made you better understand why I still can't be the full me, whoever that is.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas